Lone warrior

Isaiah 43:13

From eternity to eternity I am God.

No one can snatch anyone out of my hand.

No one can undo what I have done” (NLT)

This is a poignant scripture for my recovery: my spirit knows it and I know it.

But the devil does not want me to believe it. He is happy enough for me to just read it and feel nothing. He is even happier for me to read it and doubt God by even 1%.

When I read “[n]o one can snatch anyone out of my hand”, I felt my spirit waver in confidence as to the truth of that verse regarding my life.

That 1% of doubt in the capabilities of our heavenly Father is what gives the devil joy.

The devil sets camp in our minds with just that 1%.

Through your thoughts, he builds building blocks of doubt, fear and disbelief. But what is truly sad is that he plants these thoughts in our minds and presents them as our own.

I struggle with remembering that these are not my thoughts even though they are in my head.  I feel that I should not blame the devil for everything and take ownership of what is going on in my head.

I cringe at the Christians who blame every bad thing they do on the devil. I never want to be in denial of my actions. My obsession with accountability stems from an irrational fear of not becoming a hypocrite.

However, by focusing on not being a hypocrite, I am undermining the devil’s role in my struggles. As it stands, I am the lone warrior fighting against myself. In my battle, he is not considered as my opponent. I am.

This is an example of the stronghold he has created. It is easy to be lost in how horrible you think you are that we do not ask ourselves the question: what exactly is the devil doing right now?

Seriously, what does the devil do all day? What do you think his job is? When and how do you think he attacks? Do you think he only shows up when you are about to commit a ‘great sin’ and then perches on your shoulder whilst whispering encouragement?

When I asked myself this (which was 2 minutes ago), I realised that I was treating the devil as a regular employee who clocks in and out at a certain time. With very short working hours, only on call when there is a monumental catastrophe i.e someone dies. I did not view him as an evil being who is constantly and forever thinking about my downfall. There is not one minute that he is not jealous of us, that he is not thinking of trying to snatch us from God.  One way he attempts this is by redirecting our focus to our own faults, until we view our flawed self as our greatest opponent.

2 Corinthians 2:11

that no advantage may be gained over us by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his schemes.(WEB)




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